


Ringing

by laugh_a_latte



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Character Study, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Studying, Tinnitus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 22:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18747964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laugh_a_latte/pseuds/laugh_a_latte
Summary: Michael notices something off about the sounds around him.(a.k.a. you've heard of Voices in My Head, now get ready for . . . Ringing in My Ears!)(sorry)





	Ringing

Something’s not quite right. Michael stops typing, halfway through a sentence on his paper. Michael blinks at his screen. He can hear Jeremy typing away across the table, and the hum of the refrigerator. The lightbulb above them is buzzing slightly, and if he listens really closely, he can hear the pause screen music from the video game hooked up in the basement.

And something else. Something awful. And it's getting worse.

Michael shakes his head. No, he’s just imagining that again. That can’t really be there.

He finishes his sentence and begins on another. The sound of his laptop keys are slightly louder than Jeremy’s. His laptop is big and clunky. A gaming laptop. Not ideal for schoolwork, but it gets the job done _and_ runs Warcraft. It weighs a metric ton, though. Michael didn’t really account for that. It hurts his back if he carries it in his backpack too long.

Jeremy’s keys sound like tapping. His Macbook is light as a daisy. _Taptaptap._ Jeremy is a fast typer.

Michael’s keys don’t tap like that. His are more of a clunk. _Clunk, clunk, clunk._

Clunking and tapping, that’s what Michael listens to. But now he’s paying so much attention to those sounds that he’s not focusing on writing his paper, and that defeats the entire purpose of what they're trying to do here.

Michael tries to return his focus on his paper, but now that he’s not focusing on the sounds of typing, it’s back.

Jeremy’s _taptaptap_ , the refrigerator’s hum, the light’s buzz, and eight-bit music.

And ringing.

Michael stands up quickly. The chair screeches behind him.

Jeremy spares him a glance. Michael flashes a peace sign. He walks to the cupboard. His socks don’t make much noise on the tile. The cupboard creaks open, and the glass makes a slight thunk as he takes it down, setting it on the granite countertop. The cupboard thumps shut softly.

Michael likes the soft suction sound of the refrigerator, and the volume of the humming increases when he opens it. He likes that a lot. He has one Ecto Cooler left, so that needs to be saved for a special occasion. He grabs a Surge, instead. The can hisses and sputters when he opens it and fizzes so nicely when he pours it. The refrigerator door suctions shut. The can clatters loudly when he chucks it in the recycling bin. That's another good sound.

Michael focuses on all of these noises. These normal noises, which are happening because something is causing them, something he can see and feel and touch and appreciate.

Michael puts his glass down on the table with a very loud thunk. Jeremy glances up at it. The _taptaptap_ stops.

“Why the glass?”

“Um,” Michael looks at the squeaky cupboard. “Just wanted a glass.”

“Doesn't that, like, go against your aesthetic?”

Michael shrugs. The tapping continues.

Michael sits back down and takes a sip. Stale citrus. He can hear the swallow inside his head. He clears his throat and stares at the screen and sips and swallows again. The little line is flashing at him.

Michael stares at it for a long moment, then starts typing.

Clunking, tapping, humming, buzzing, eight-bit music, the fizz of his soda. And ringing.

Michael stop typing and stands up again. _Screech._

He doesn’t even notice Jeremy’s startled look as he stalks to the wall and flicks a switch. _Click._

Michael stares at the ceiling fan as it creaks to life. It struggles at first, but soon the creaking gives way to a constant whirring.

Michael falls down into his chair with a much too loud sigh and gets back to staring at his screen.

Clunking, tapping, humming, buzzing, eight-bit music, fizzing, whirring.

Michael stops typing.

Tapping, humming, buzzing, eight-bit music, fizzing, whirring.

And ringing.

The tapping stops.

“Dude, stop,” Jeremy says. Michael startles and looks at Jeremy.

“What?”

“You’re shaking the table.”

Michael realizes his leg is bouncing. He puts a hand on it and stops. “Sorry.”

The tapping starts again.

Michael blinks back at his screen. He takes a sip of his Surge. He rubs the cartilage of his ear and rubs his tongue against his teeth and clears his throat and swallows saliva, but it’s still there.

Michael moves his finger from his cartilage to his ear canal, and blocks it. He lifts his other hand and blocks the other.

The tapping is muffled. The buzz and hum distant, and he can’t hear the fizz or music or whir of the fan at all.

But the ringing is loud and clear.

Michael’s chest tightens as he listens to the awful noise, much too high pitched and constant and terrible.

“Michael?” A muffled voice says. Michael shakes his head and shuts his eyes. He can’t be imagining it? It’s clear as a bell.

Ringing and ringing and ringing.

“Michael?”

Michael feels vibrations from the floor, and after a moment, warm hands cover his and pull.

Michael flinches and blinks his eyes open. 

His eyes focus on Jeremy’s face, a few inches from his own. His brow is tense and he’s chewing his lip. The sounds of the kitchen flood back to him, and Michael rips his hands from Jeremy’s.

“What _is_ that?” Michael asks, unable to control the shake in his voice. His leg starts bouncing again. Jeremy glances at it, then back at Michael.

“What is what, Michael?” Jeremy asks, a little freaked. Michael doesn't blame him. He's not making any sense.

“That _ringing,_ ” Michael says. Looking at Jeremy. Jeremy looks confused. Michael shakes his head. He sounds insane. 

“Ringing,” Jeremy says.

“In my ears,” Michael replaces a finger in his ear. “Like, it’s so _loud._ What is that?”

Jeremy stands upright. “I mean, I get that, too, sometimes. Like on planes.”

“We’re not on a plane,” Michael replies. 

Jeremy’s eyes shift to the headphones on Michael’s neck.

“Uh,” Jeremy sits back down at his laptop. After a moment he types something and hits ‘Enter’ with a loud tap. “Um, how loud do you listen to your music on those headphones.”

Michael swallows. “Full volume.”

“Oh,” Jeremy says. “Yeah, I can usually hear what you’re listening to. Damn . . .”

Michael feels his face heat up and his chest feels awful. He’s read about this on Reddit. People who get ringing in their ears from their music. But he’s only _seventeen_ and he _definitely_ has a few more years of blasting music before he should start turning it down, in fact he _needs_ to have a few more years, and how many other people blast music in their headphones? So many! So why is he getting this now?

Michael stands up again. Jeremy jumps slightly at the screech of Michael’s chair. Michael doesn’t care. He stands behind Jeremy and squints at his laptop screen.

He’s reading an article about tinnitus.

Michael chest loosens a little. Relief, 'cause things with names have cures, right?

“How do I stop it?”

“I, um,” Jeremy scrolls and scrolls. He pauses at a paragraph and reads more. “I don’t think you can?"

Michael’s knuckles go white on the back of Jeremy’s chair, that flicker of relief wavers. :"That can’t be right! What about science?”

“It’s what it says. It says some treatments can make the symptoms less severe, but . . . No complete cure, it says.”

Michael shakes his head. His chest aches. His ears ring.

“But how do I fix it, like, temporarily? For now?" Michael moves back around the table and slides into his chair, typing furiously into a new browser window the second his keyboard is in reach. Jeremy is silent across the table. Michael can feel his gaze on him.

Michael clicks link after link, but they all say the same thing, which is essentially to drown it out with something else until whatever treatment start working, that is _if_ they work at all. And that can takes weeks, and Michael needs it to stop _now_ because it hurts his brain too much, and isn’t it weird how it’s louder now that he’s thinking about it? He wishes he didn’t start thinking about it. He wishes he could stop.

Michael sits back in his chair after the fifth article and stares at his computer screen. The ache in his chest worsens. There’s no tapping, no clunking, and the fizz in his Surge has gone out. The TV in the basement must have switched to sleep mode. It’s just Jeremy's urgent voice across the table, humming, buzzing, and whirring.

And ringing, ringing, ringing.

**Author's Note:**

> Still on a break from heavy angst to focus on character stuff. I'll probably return to real angst in the next installment.
> 
> (As always, comments of all shapes and sizes greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading <3)
> 
> And just FYI, from my understanding, tinnitus varies in severity from person to person. Usually everyone experiences a little at some point, like in planes or from popping ears or just after a concert, but some people get it a lot and others have it constantly and some severely. I have mild tinnitus from my headphones because I like loud things. For me I always have a very low volume ringing that doesn't bother me in general, but sometimes it gets bad/bothersome. The first time I realized that it wasn't really going away was something like a less dramatic version of what I wrote here.  
> (Also please be smart and turn your music volume down, cuz tinnitus sucks. Luckily I realized what was going on before it got super bad. Again ty for reading and comments are mega appreciated <3)  
> 


End file.
